Stuff Meaghann Says

I’ve recently become Meaghann’s roommate, and it’s been… interesting.

*

Me at Meaghann’s house before moving in: “Is that a dog bone over there?”

Meaghann: “Yep.”

Me: “Do you- You don’t have a dog.”

Meaghann: “Nope. …This is my house.”

*

Meaghann, after I tried making a point about something or other: “On the other hand, I have five fingers.”

Me, not getting the “other hand” part of her joke:“Wouldn’t you have ten?”

Meaghann: “Yeah, on my other hand.”

*

Meaghann about my joke-telling abilities: “You’re not even good enough for dad jokes. You’re more like cousin Todd jokes.” …She’s right.

*

Meaghann: “Corndog me up, son!”

*

Meaghann: “If you were a dog, I think you’d be a shiba inu.”

Me, actually very flattered: “…Thank you!”

Meaghann: “Not you. Ophie.” (Ophie is her 8-ish month old kitten.)

*

Meaghann: “I can’t be wrong! I’m from Washington!”

*

Max on Catfish (TV show): “Alright, let’s fly.”

Meaghann: “Max, you’re not a bird!”

*

Meaghann: “I had, like, a classy mullet.”

Josh: “A locally owned business in the front and a dinner party in the back.”

*

Meaghann to me while she was bleaching my hair: “You have such a dainty neck.”

Me, knowing where this was going: “Oh, don’t say that!”

“…I could just snap it if I wanted to.”

I groan.

*

Me: “We must have a different sense of humor or concept of reality or something.”

Meaghann: “I think that’s true, because you don’t really have a concept of reality.” …True…

-Crystal